Why is making friends so exhausting when you have borderline personality disorder?

Because, primarily, the person suffering from this disorder is so very sensitive to any signs of rejection. This ravening fear often borders on paranoia and all to often breeches that frontier. In my experience in treatment with those who suffer in this way, the thought or fantasy of rejection is often exquisitely preternatural.

As an experiment in empathy try putting yourself in such shoes and imagine what it must be like, out of your crushing loneliness, to so desperately want a friend, a friend to accept you, sulfurous flaws and all. Yet know that a harrowing flaw your in your personality, a flaw that you consciously or unconsciously know only too well, will command you to behave in a manner that will lead to your dismissal by the very person you so desperately want to accept you.

Yes, rejected once again, and, god forbid, alone again. Alone with a self-hatred and yawning emptiness that, like a cosmic black hole, swallows all in its path. Imagine a self-loathing so barbarously implacable that you cannot see beyond your own hellish abandonment.

Yes. It is the repeated experience of emotional and/or physical abandonment that grinds away in the background of such a stricken person.

It is because of these awful tragedies that I can not brook the prejudicial, and yes, thinly disguised hateful attacks I so often read here on those burdened with the agonizing realities of the mental illnesses of borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorders.

Please, dear readers, silence if not empathy.

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How do I know if my problems are real or downplayed by me

How do I know if I subconsciously downplay my problems or if they are real?
Mark Maginn
Mark Maginn, Psychotherapist, poet, memoirist, blogger, (2012-present)
Answered just now
Fascinating question. Not sure, but how about talking over a couple of your problems with a trusted friend and see what feedback you get. If still confused, check in with a licensed psychotherapist and ask for feedback or if present, a diagnosis.

I’m only guessing here, but I suspect that you might not share your problems with others. If you did, you might not be confused about this. If making friends is a possible problem than checking in with your friendly neighborhood psychotherapist might be warranted.

In any event, good luck figuring this out. But really, if your “problems” are not significantly interfering in a major area of your life, such as love relationships, friendships or work, then I wouldn’t be too concerned. If, however, you’re getting feedback from others that you’re missing something, then, again, a trial therapy with a psychotherapist might be in order.

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What will you do if you are sad? (Quora)

Hold still and feel the sadness; get to know it; don’t push it away; befriend it. This will not only lessen the feeling but will allow the person the time and space to resolve it. By this I mean that the sadness and from where it springs can be safely integrated into the psyche & personality of the person experiencing this most basic of human emotions.

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What will you do if you are sad? (Quora)

Hold still and feel the sadness; get to know it; don’t push it away; befriend it. This will not only lessen the feeling but will allow the person the time and space to resolve it. By this I mean that the sadness and from where it springs can be safely integrated into the psyche & personality of the person experiencing this most basic of human emotions.

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Exactly what does my therapist mean when she says to “be mindful”? Quora)

This comes from Mindfulness Meditation a practice that research has shown to be quite effective in the treatment of mental disorders. You might want to ask your therapist about this as I’m quite sure it will be helpful to you.

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Why did loneliness lead me to psychosis? (Quora)

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Why did loneliness lead me to psychosis?
I was studying abroad. I wasn’t able to make friends, and worse than that, I made some people angry at me (I think, because they would snigger at everything I did). As a few weeks passed I started to think that people on facebook were doing things related to me, like if they would come online it would be because I did something online. Like everything I was doing was somehow having an effect on people’s activities on facebook. I was having fights with (the people I thought disliked me) songs on Spotify. For example someone would play ‘My god, he knows me’ and I would think of it as an insult and play ‘Retarded retard’.

(Oh, god, this is so embarassing, but please do give me an answer if you have one).

Near the new years eve, I spent a lot of time hungry as I was too depressed/lazy to cook, and at midnight I was convinced my computer was hacked. There were some compromising videos (heh) on there, and I was certain that the people who disliked me were putting those videos up, editing them, all over the world. The noise, loud music, and everyone going ‘Happy new years’ only strengthened my belief. It was the worst thing I ever faced (held a knife on my neck, until my flatmate’s boyfriend cam out of nowhere).

A week later I went into class. And in the second class, I suddenly realised people were hearing my thoughts. I stopped going to class because of that, and took an interruption 1 week before the exams as I hadn’t studied anything. I thought I was being tested on for some technology that enables people to hear thoughts. But I realised it wasn’t true 2 months later, when a teacher failed to recognise who I was, and the psychosis period ended.

I am fine now, on 2mg risperidone for safety. But I am scared a lot because I am going abroad again for studies, and wondering if it will come back.

My response: That’s quite a story, harrowing and uplifting all at once.
As I only know what you’ve posted here about your experience I would say your disturbance might have been a combination of being in a foreign country, anxious, alone and with the stress of academic pursuits. I imagine that this may have been the first real move away from your family which is always a vulnerable time for a young person and it isn’t unusual for the young person to experience what you did.
I think it was a combination of stressors, not the least of which is being alone in a foreign country by yourself. I’m so happy to have read that this psychotic episode has passed and can certainly empathize with your struggle as well as your trepidation regarding re-experiencing that episode again.
Good luck. I hope you are working with a therapist to really understand in depth what led to such a frightening experience, one I expect that will increase your empathy for others who find themselves in a the throes of their own psychotic episode

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How do you take mentally ill relatives to the psychiatrist? (Quora)

These situations are so confusing, tragic and possibly lethal. Yes, the mother and daughter should waste no time in leaving to be somewhere that they can be safe from him. As he is a threat to them, he can be involuntarily committed. In this instance wherein the danger is clear and present, the police should be contacted to that they may safely transport him to the nearest emergency room where he can begin to receive the help he and his family so urgently need. Good luck to them in both the near and long term.

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How can I choose a good therapist or psychiatrist? How can I know they are good at what they do or good for me? (Quora)

1st off, there are not many psychiatrists who actual engage in psychotherapy as they are pushed ever more into doing medication management. Clinical social workers provide the most therapy services in the US and many psychologists specialize in psychotherapy. Almost everyone you think about working with will be well trained and have the proper licenses, though you wan to check that. The real question is, are you comfortable with therapist you meet with. That can start be assessed in the initial phone call and the following initial appointment. Remember, a perfectly good therapist may be someone with whom you personally don’t connect with. It’s neither blamed on your or the therapist, it’s just a matter of fit. That should be your key point in deciding on whom to work with. Good luck.

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Why and when do we use family focused therapy or interpersonal and social rhythm therapy for bipolar disorder over CBT? (Quora)

I endorse family therapy for this. The patient with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder may also be in individual therapy. I suggest family therapy to work on issues, patterns and triangles that may contribute to the identified patient’s—here, the one with the diagnosis—symptoms. Family therapy can help the entire family confronting a member with a serious mental disorder. The impact of this disorder will reverberate throughout the family and that will create feedback for the identified patient(IP). As that patient begins to free her or himself from the role of the family’s IP s/he may well find the bipolar symptoms backing off.

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Should I seek help or am I just overreacting? (Quora)

I’m afraid we can’t be of any assistance as we need more information beyond your question. It might help if you were a bit more specific about what may be troubling to you?

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