Anyone can ask any kind of question or question on the website Quora. You can ask for answers anonymously or by using your name. You can ask a question posed to anyone who reads it and asks for an answer. Readers can follow those who answer or pose questions and you can also ask a question of a specific person. You can also “follow” anyone you find interesting. I primarily answer questions about psychopathology, therapy and on writing. I’ve just recently started posting both the questions and my answers. There are a variety of questions and many are intriguing.
The short answer is yes. However, it depends on the nature of the goals and how much each might take of your personal resources. Experimentation is a good approach to learning what your capacity for multi-tasking is. Again, it will vary according to the complexity and difficulty of each goal.
Your question, though intriguing is impossible to answer in a definitive way. There are some people who, like you, from time to time have difficulty distinguishing between the two. If it happens everyday and interferes with any part of the person’s life it might well be considered a psychotic process. The key is: How much does this confusion affect your life. If this is considered by you a minor nuisance to living I wouldn’t worry about it. If it happens all the time and interferes in any area of you life I’d talk to my physician to explain what is happening and asking him/her for a referral to someone who’s done this kind of work in the past.
Just kidding. I don’t know of a word that would be defined by what you write in your question. All I can say is that those worries are rather pointless as well as trivial. It may be that people who worry in that way may be displacing far more meaningful and frightening worries on to the trivial in the hope of keep real anxiety at bay.
It’s easy for someone like me to be glib in response to your anguish. I’ll try not to do that with telling you that you should love yourself, that you’re the most important person to believe in yourself. No. Those things may be true, but how to get there is the universal rub.
I would suggest that you get hold—easily available on Amazon Books—of Mark Williams & Danny Penman’s book; Mindfulness: An 8-week plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. It’s a Rodale publication.
I suggest this as this is a quite easy to learn form of meditation that research has shown done some wonders with all kinds of human frailties and dilemmas such as yours. It’s a great way to see not only what you think, but also how what you think an fantasize about affects how you perceive yourself. Give it a shot. I’ve recommended this to many of my patients and all report very good results about the things with which they struggle.
I’m assuming—I hope not wrongfully— that you are a young person. I’m likely quite a bit older and more experienced which leads me to the following which you’ve no doubt heard before causing your eyes to roll back in your head; but stay with me with an open mind: These things, they ways we find ourselves so wanting and defective as a young person change as you get progressively older. You get to the point that you not only accept yourself, you may even find pride in who and what you are. Believe me, it comes, and I must say, quicker than you know. I know, my friends I have gone through it. Seems to be part of the evolutionary human condition.
Yeah, were supposed to be tough guys. It’s quite an unnecessary burden for sure.
But what can you do? Here goes from my experience: Many churches, especially Unitarian-Universalist churches—I know about this group as I’ve been a Unitarian-Universalist on and off for over 45 yrs.—and others that have men’s groups where men can relate to and share themselves with other men.
Mindfully select a friend, male or female and mindfully & carefully begin to reveal the less traumatic aspects of your recent experiences. You’d be surprised how much, when they know what’s happening, they want to help.
Check out community resources for bereavement groups or groups of people living with the reality of a coming death of a loved one, family or friend.
You might also ask your physician for a referral to a therapist who is knowledgeable about terminal illnesses and grief. I do this work and have found those who come in for this type of health do quite well as they stay connected to the sick and or dying family member or friend.
The best answer I can offer is this: these folks a chance. Whether in designing educational programs or work programs. I realize this has been tried—though mostly abandoned as public funds have been shifted from these programs to either the military or in unjust tax windfalls for the wealthy—in the past and some even survive today.
The best thing we can do for them, ourselves and the rest of society is to protest and work against the kleptocracy capitalism and its attendant wild spending on the military. As our national treasure is consumed by an ever growing military presence around the world—in excess of 700+ military bases across the world—and as this monster metastasizes across the globe the money it sucks up comes directly from maintaining our infra structure, education, medical care, research and social programs that once constituted or security net.
This behemoth is one of the reasons why the sensible social programs like the one I’ve suggested above & once proliferated around our nation are rapidly disappearing. We need to oppose this not only for ourselves but for those among us around whom we as citizens need to rally.
We took in a part Jindo who was on the streets in a central valley city in CA. We drove 3 hours to see him and he was a mess. Frightened, wormy, coughy (kennel) and wary. He spent most of the 1st month under our bed. I would lie on the floor next to the bed and talk with him several times a day. He’d come out for his 3 daily relief walks but right back under the bed. Eventually, he appeared. He’s the most loving, intelligent, funny dog we’ve ever had the luck to own.
He soon became my “Therapy” dog. I have a serious chronic auto-immune disorder that took most of my life away. But when we got “Dylan,” (I’m a poet and one of my favorites was Dylan Thomas so my wife liked the name and it stuck).
I also suffer from a spinal cord injury sustained most likely during an 8-hour spinal surgery. When at my desk writing when we 1st got Dylan, he would lie on the bed behind me and to my left. He very quickly somehow knew when the pain was ratcheting up. He would come to the corner of the bed right behind me and gently lay his right front paw on my shoulder. I grew to learn that this was his signal that he could tell, probably by subtle variations in my posture, that the pain was getting to be too much and I should take a break.
He then learned that from the partial blindness in my left eye to growl or nudge me if I was about to “blindly” step into traffic.
When we are having friends over he rather quickly seeks out the most physically or emotionally vulnerable and sit beside them the entire evening.
He’s accepted at Northwestern Hosp. in Chicago where I’ve been a few times for severe pain problems. My son would bring him to visit and he’d jump up on the bed, snuggle into me as I slept.
We walk 3 or 4 miles daily in and around Lincoln Pk. & we are constantly stopped by people wanting to know more about him or take his picture. Whenever we walk by a baby or toddler and here the child squeal “Doggy” we turn around and allow the child to approach and pet him. It makes our walks wonderful as we interact with so much more people than I would walking alone.
There is, Sam. Your describing possible symptoms of depression and that your withdrawal is deepening? Contact you family physician and explain what is happening with you and then, please, Sam, follow her/his advice. The longer you let this go the more dangerous to it becomes to all areas of your life. Don’t mess around with this, Sam, it might be very dangerous to you.
Can I ask out my son’s therapist?
Mark Maginn, Psychotherapist, poet, memoirist
Written 2m ago
Certainly can. But should you? Short answer, no. And if you did, I would hope for you son’s sake that he would say no and affirm the boundaries around s/he and you son.
Some would argue that once your son’s treatment has terminated then is would be okay. Simply stated, it would not.
Therapy often goes on in the patient after termination. Dating the therapist would throw that off and leave your son feeling taken advantage of. There may come a point when he would like to go back to his therapist for another round of Tx; not at all unusual.
Don’t disrupt your son’s therapy now or in the future. There are lots of people to date, stay with them.